Parents Suck

I should clarify that title as quickly as possible.

I don't mean to say that my parents suck. Quite to the contrary, my parents rule. Nor do I mean to say that any other single set of parents suck. Indeed, without parents, I wouldn't have any friends. What I really mean to say is that the collective 'parents' descending upon our tiny hamlet this weekend suck.

I've always wanted to use the phrase 'tiny hamlet.'

Today begins JMU's Parents Weekend, when most of the parents of the freshman class and lot of the parents of sophomores and juniors drop in to say 'hi' and take all the parking spots. On a weekend like this (Homecoming and Graduation are two other occasions), what is normally a 5-10 minute trip to campus can take 30. And thank God I don't need to eat on campus anymore, because that was a nightmare.

As far as I'm concerned, Parents Weekend should not exist. Perhaps hold several Parents Weekends, the first for families whose names begin with A-I, the second for families whose names begin with J-R, and the third for families whose names begin with S-Z. It would greatly reduce the traffic and congestion around the 'Burg, and make the concept of a Parents Weekend more attractive to those parents who skip it because it's too crazy.

Never happen.

October 04, 2002 - 09:10 AM

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