Ramblings of a Madman

I promised that I would put some excerpts from my HELLF notebook in this space a week ago, and now I follow through. There are many doodles and sketches (this from the man who can't draw), and I don't feel like scanning them, so use your imagination. Most of these things work simply as text, though.

The Beginning

I was still taking notes in this phase of class, so inconsequential doodles and ramblings are sparse.

• What I Can Draw: followed by sketches of the sun, a bird on fire, a stick figure of me, a guitar (actually drawn by Amanda), a box, a stick, and a bowtie.
• Hey kids/Rub your balls/So you don't get cancer
• If we go to war with Iraq, I can only pray that it involves monkeys with jetpacks and Lasers, because that would be sweet. (stolen from an IM away message)
• Click to add title!
• MOTHERFUCKER!!!

I Give Up

Quoted directly from the notebook: "18 September 2002. The day I gave up on health."

• This is your life/It doesn't get any better than this/This is your life/And it's ending one minute at a time
• One more boring class/Prof: No personality/I wish she would die
• Writing bad haiku/Must not make them too funny/Or Mandy might laugh
• This is mind-numbing/A worse job than health teacher?/Assistant Crack-whore
• 7 Grain Breads, 7 Grain cerals. Coincidence? I think not!
• 9 out of 10 vegetarians have longer, shittier lives than carnivores.
• HELLF
• I eat all the major food colors: white, red ... mostly white.

Sex!

I'm still an immature child 98% of the time, so our classes on sex provided for endless fodder.

• It's naked time!
• "The Adventures of Friendly Sperm and Nervous Ovum!"
• "I'm coming!" "Whoohoo, stage 3!"
• Castrating She-Beast
• I always notice that bored look in her eye
• Avoid stimulation of the clit at all costs!
• I am the master of the clit!
• "You're grounded! Stay in your epididymis!"
• 8% of Lunelle users would recommend its use to an enemy.
• Herpes is so 1990
• It's not who you are ... It's who you do!

No More Notes

By the middle of October, I was done taking notes. This may have had some influence on the eventual grade of B that I'll receive for the class (but probably not).

• Yes, you do exist. But nobody notices.
• I love you, but I don't love you.
• I love you, but my pants are on fire.
• That was obviously pretty awful for you, you little pussy.
• She was definitely retaining water (Amanda wrote that).
• Been thinking about ... your mommy.
• Dairy Bite -- The chewing gum flavored with the low-fat goodness of REAL CHEESE!
• (lots of quotes from Donnie Darko)
• I need an enabler for my addiction to FUNK!
• I want you to stop, or I will kick your ass lovingly.
• "Marge, it's uter-US, not uter-YOU!"
• Drunky says, "Alcohol is awesome!"
• My other ride is your mother
• I recapitulated your mother last night!

And that's it. Thanks for nothing, GHTH 100!