Why Hulk Sucked

I didn't want to write a bad review of Hulk. Since the trailer before X2, I thought it looked promising and everyone else I spoke to thought it looked horrible. I wanted to prove them wrong, to have real reasons to call it unequivocally awesome. But I don't, and I can't.

First, the good things: it was supremely well-acted. Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly and Sam Elliott all gave great performances, and Nick Nolte was awesome. As Dad said, every time Nolte opened his mouth and started talking, we were absolutely rivited, hanging on his every word.

The effects were also very well done. Hulk could go down as one of the best CG characters to this point: his movement, interaction with his environment, and especially his emotional expression all had me convinced that the big green guy actually existed. The fight scenes were as cool as the trailers promised.

That, unfortunately, is all I can say about Hulk that is positive. In spite of all of this, what I felt as I walked out of the theater was profound disappointment: it could have been so much better.

I don't want to spoil anything here, so I'll be cryptic and say that the story is overly confusing. Additionally, it is way to long; I'd compare it to A.I. in the sense that it should have ended almost 30 minutes before it actually did.

My biggest problem with Hulk, however, was the liberal use of split-screen and inset shots. I can only assume that the concept was borne out of the idea of making the film look like a comic book, and to a certain extent, it succeeded. I could, in theory, have visualized how the story might have been laid out in frames on pages, but in reality it was insanely distracting. Well, it started out being mildly irritating, but by the time Hulk was bounding across the desert and kicking some Army ass, I wanted to scream at the screen "Don't put a rectangle of General Ross over the corner! Please! NOO!"

It might seem silly to dismiss a movie over such a seemingly small thing...but I have to anyway. Actually, I suppose I can't dismiss it. I really didn't hate it. But I didn't love it, either, and I really wanted to. Just like A.I.

June 21, 2003 - 10:33 PM

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