For Jessica

Fixing Your Computer

Chances are good that you have insufficient RAM. You'll want to buy at least 256 megs of PC133 RAM. Be sure to turn off your computer before installing it.

On the other hand, the only way to be certain that your computer will never again trouble you is to throw it out the window. Putting the beast out of its misery is often for the best.

Tarantino

I've still only seen two of Tarantino's movies, so I can't speak about him with as much certainty as I did your computer. From what I've read and heard, he is a total dorkwad who used to work in a video store and now uses his superpowers of Film Minutiae Retention for awesome, making kickass movies and getting to hang out with the likes of Sam Jackson and Uma Thurman.

Kill Bill kicked so much ass.

Arena Rock

I have little to no experience with what is commonly called "Arena Rock," as I've never seen/heard KISS, AC/DC (is there a lightning bolt in Unicode?), Poison, Great White (never will now!), etc. I have, however, seen some kickass rock concerts in arenas, most recently Foo Fighters. Based on this experience and others (Paul McCartney, Barenaked Ladies), I strongly support good rock music at high amplitude in arenas.

Coffee

I don't really like coffee. Sometimes Amanda gets a mocha frappuccino at Starbucks and I have a few sips. The aftertaste pisses me off.

Peeping Neighbors

There is so much wrong with the judicial system today; don't contribute by suing your neighbors for looking at you through what are obviously open blinds. I see two potentially appropriate courses of action:

1. Close your blinds.
2. Throw something at them. Maybe your computer.

This article is the second in a series.

October 29, 2003 - 10:02 PM